Military Brats

I am a Military Brat.

I’ve found that the vast majority of Non-Military Families do not understand what life is like for Soldiers, their Spouses or their Children.

I’ve been to 9 different schools (from Elementary to High School.) I’ve lived in 4 Countries on 2 Continents and in 5 US States.

Most Non-Military people have either lived their whole life in the same place or moved an average of 3 times (and even those moves are Voluntary vs. the Involuntary Moves Military Brats have to do every 3-4 years.)

I was born in a State that my Family had no connection to and were only there because my Dad was stationed there. I still get asked about “my people” from that State. I have no “people” in that place – then or now.

When I’m asked “where are you from” that is such a loaded question that I prepare to give a long explanation when the person asking is simply waiting to hear a one word answer.

Even the Military doesn’t seem to have a clue about what to do with Military Brats (living inside the US or overseas.) They have Youth Centers and things like that on bases, but they are clearly planned and run by the Military since they don’t take into account what children or teenagers actually want so almost no one uses them.

Military Brats have to also deal with the ever-present threat that their actions will ruin the Military Careers of their Parents. Whether on a base in the US or Internationally there is a strict Military Hierarchy that the Soldier has to follow.

 There’s a strict Military Spouse Hierarchy that the Husband or Wife Dependent has to follow.

Then there’s a strict Military Brat Hierarchy that the Son or Daughter Dependent has to follow.

My Mom (a Military Spouse) never liked to follow the strict Military Spouse Hierarchy which included always hearing another Military Wife or Husband tell her “Do you know who my Husband/Wife is?” or “Who’s your Husband/Wife? What Rank are they?”

And if you “misbehaved”  - like having a job - or didn’t follow the strict Hierarchy even at home or off-base your actions could hurt the Military Career of your Spouse.

As a Military Brat we learned from birth to follow the Strict Military Brat Dependent Hierarchy. Sometimes it was about not getting into trouble with the MPs or the local Police and sometimes it was as simple as the Hierarchy of Clothing you wore.

Living in West Germany and then in Germany the Clothing Hierarchy was as follows: At the top were the kids who always had clothes they bought themselves from when they visited the States.

Then came those who’s clothes were ordered by catalog from the States. In the middle were the kids who’s clothes came from the PX/BX. At the bottom were those kids who’s clothes came from a German store.

It may not seem like that big of a deal, but how and where you bought your clothes showed your Parent’s Rank and Standing within the Military since those with more Rank and Status had more money to fly their kids to the US where they could shop and bring things back and those who had lower Rank and Status (or who had a German Parent) shopped at the German stores.

I did have a similar experience when I moved to New York for 9th Grade. On my 2nd day of school a kid I didn’t know commented that I must be poor because my shirt was from Old Navy (it said “Old Navy” on it) and my pants were from The Gap. If I had money I would have only shopped at The Gap.

My New York High School had its own Hierarchy that was based on Wealth over Rank and of course since nearly everyone there had known each other since birth they all knew right away despite the fact that there were 619 Students in my graduating class.

As a Military Brat going to a Non-DODDS School I had many instances where I was questioned about things. The Head of the English Department refused to allow me to take the Honors English Class when I moved there in 9th Grade despite the fact that I had received an A in Honors English from my DODDS School (from September-November.)

I was placed in English 9 and the Teacher there (who also taught Honors English) tried to convince the Head of the English Department that I should take Honors English. He kept refusing so unofficially I left English 9 and took Honors English. I did all the work, took part in all the debates and did the Honors English Final only to officially get credit for English 9.

When I went on the French Class April Trip to Paris in 9th Grade (I only went because I had been trying very hard to go back to Europe since I moved back to the States the previous November) my French Teacher couldn’t understand why my American Passport wasn’t like her Passport or the other Students’ Passports.

Mine was an American Dependent Living Overseas Passport (and had a note stating such on the last page.) The Teacher even questioned my ability to travel to France with the Class on that Passport – my Mom got a letter from the French Consulate in New York City saying I could so I went.

I also didn’t get a New York Regents Diploma because my 9th Grade Guidance Counselor at didn’t understand that arriving from outside of New York State 2 months after school started my Regents Time started when I entered a New York High School.

Had I transferred from another school in New York State and hadn’t taken a Regents Class for 2 months I would not be able to get a Regents Diploma.

It wasn’t until my Senior Year (when I had the same Guidance Counselor) that I learned that and I really let him have it. Since I didn’t go to College in New York State a New York Regents Diploma didn’t mean anything.

Even though I stopped being a Military Brat when I turned 18 and could no longer be forced to move places I still get many instances (even here on an isolated mountain in New England) where being a Military Brat comes up and I am asked about certain things. I guess that will always follow me no matter how old I am.

One good thing about being a Military Brat is that I got to travel either for free or at discounted rates to many locations across the world. I have continued that love of traveling to this day.